If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
