Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
