do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize