so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
