why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
