What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I had to cum in my sink.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
