There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
