Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
