how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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