No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
