ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
