That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize