"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
