i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can Purell be used as lube?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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