This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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