i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
