Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Couch. On fire.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
