i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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