Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
