we have pet lesbian snakes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
