this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Text me some of your sweat
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
