Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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