are you still at the devil's house?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
