you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
