Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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