literally had 100 drinks last night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
