She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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