this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
