He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize