its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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