Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
