Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
