That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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