I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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