I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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