i permit you to call me
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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