I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
