you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
