Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
