The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
