Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
