Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
