your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
