It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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