my vag is so smooth its legendary
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
as a side note pls kill me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
