How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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