There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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