So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
