I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
