Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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