Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
