i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize