He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
