Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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