my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
