Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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