My brain says no but my pants say off.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
