I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
