i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The air was thick with penises
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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