Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize