Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
